…out considering we may not be dealing with a normal situation. Sacrifice is good up to a point, but when you start destroying your own mental health, your physical health, your chance for progress and improvement, an evaluation of the situation is needed.
Alen M. Vukelić
I recently had to make a tough decision to give up on a friend because of this. The more time went on, the more chances I gave, the more I was made to feel like I had been in the wrong and that I simply wasn't a good friend over the years.
The truth of the matter is that this person had really struggled with interpersonal relationships in a rather pattern-like way. Eventually her problems became so bad that it started to seep in to genuine friendships in her life, where nobody was safe from the turmoils of her relentless accusations and blame.
Because I was wrongly misdiagnosed with a personality disorder in the past (thanks to years of contraception), I had eight years worth of foresight on her behavioral patterns. I felt obligated, morally, to throw her rope where no one had done for me in the past. As time went on, issues persisted, I was forced to confront a lot of things I had overlooked for so long out of the guilt that she subjected me to. That she had never really been a friend to me. That she was unwilling to understand or hear someone else' perspective, because it paints her in a bad light.
I made the decision to walk away, after all those years. It isn't easy giving up on somebody you've known for so long, but fortunately there was never a connection there to begin with other than familiarity. Naturally, her response to my departure letter was very sour and outright manipulative; having the last say was more important to her than understanding how I felt and how much I had been hurt by her actions.
My advice for those dealing with someone in their life of a similar shade is to disengage. You cannot change somebody who doesn't want to understand, first and foremost. It is still your duty to protect your own mental health. Don't feel bad for giving up on someone if the relationship did more harm than it did inspire sympathy.